Crunch Time Not as Crunchy

A lot has happened since I blogged last. But not in the sense that I suddenly became more busy; my schedule stays at a static "Full-load" capacity. That doesn't bother me; I am busy by choice, and by choice, I wouldn't have it any other way. I digress. So what is it that happened?

I think there comes about times during our lives that we go through growth spurts - of information beyond what we read in our textbooks or text on our phones. There are moments in life that we gain insight, understanding, awareness, and a more expansive perspective. It can result in subtle changes, most of which may never be reckoned by anyone but yourself. They aren't moments of physical achievement, like flexing one's muscles, or scholarly in terms of your grades. Rather, they are a mark of your maturity, your divergence from youthful ignorance.

Like I said before, I'd like to think everyone one-ups their own level of thinking. But the time at which this happens is by no means fixed or universal. Speaking from experience, these times pop up when you least expect them to. And from talking to my parents, even adults are still graduate from certain elementary levels of perceptions, because we all know that one adult who still thinks they are a kid (and not in the "have fun, joking" kind of way).

One of my recent "aw ha" moments, for a lack of a better phrase, has been my college quest. We've been drilled and pressured on the subject since I was in the sixth grade. It's only increased in intensity every year since. Now, I'm nearing the end of my junior year. (And according to our teachers, Junior year is the biggie for actually beginning the college selection process.) Know that, I felt behind. I grudge when people come up to me in conversation, beginning with the statement, "Ever since I was 3 years old I've wanted to be a doctor. I know where I want to go to college, and well, what about you?" kind of a long pause on my end before my response is followed by, "Wait, you mean to tell me you don't know what you want to do, OR where you want to go!? Man, I thought you would have already figured that out!"

It doesn't bother me as much anymore; once I seriously started thinking about it, I have gained direction. Not yet definite answers. But right now, no definite answer means freedom. Constricting plans don't allow for liberty in novel thoughts, changes in passion, or sense of calling to a particular something or other.

It's easy to get so caught up in the situation. (I know because I often do.) "You mean I, all of 17 years, need to decide now what I want to do with the rest of my life?" That sort of mentality still intimidates me. But I know He doesn't want to me to worry or be anxious over the matter. In fact, to worry is to sin because it lacks faith. It's through His word that I find solace and peace, hope and joy for my life now and in the future.

It's really a change of attitude towards the whole shifting from teenage life to adult life. As we learned in Psychology, the way you appraise or label a situation can dictate your attitude, your emotions, your behavior, your actions. Therefore, by labeling the college and career quest as something fun (and not stressful), I am excited about the whole process.

But the thing is, changes in thought aren't free from moments of relapse. That's why I have to pray about it everyday and also realize I am not alone in this turbulent, oftentimes blindfolded quest. Every teenager around the world can relate to this struggle for identity and purpose. This is a comforting cultural collision.

*Image from eHow