unNORMal surprises

I always wonder what it might be like to befriend someone from a distinctly different culture. In many ways, I satisfied this curiosity in China. But only an accomplished traveler could adequately answer the inquiry. Someday, I am such a traveler, able to answer affluently. Until then, I must only wonder.

My predicament may seem trivial, childish, narrow, pointless. But the state of pondering is rewarding to the beat of the heart and eyes of the soul. So I sit here and type and wonder. I wonder many things.

Would the other person want to be my friend?
Would they accept me for who I am and what I am not?
What would we talk about?
How should I act?
Should I be nervous, worried, scared?
How will we communicate?
...and the biggest of them all (drum roll please---the computer screen makes for a good drum head, FYI:)....
What cultural barriers might stand in the way?

The first barrier that comes to mind is cultural norms, understood rules for accepted and expected behavior. They prescribe "proper" behavior, and over time, each culture adapts their own. For example, South Asians only use their right hand to eat. Would if, while sipping tea, used my left by mistake? Other examples include specific rules for clapping, bowing, utensil use at dinner parties, complimenting and gesturing. From one perspective, norms seem oppressive and silly. Why should it matter how I dress or act? From another perspective, norms make sense. They lesson the fear of embarrassment or insult...if you know the norms.

My worry is the latter part of the above sentence..."if you know the norms." I think it is vital that, upon traveling, you learn the cultural norms of the country you are about to immerse yourself in. Often times, behavior seen as appropriate in one culture, may not be elsewhere. Let's say a male man from Western culture travels to Saudi Arabia. Upon arrival, he is warmly greeted...with a kiss...from another man! In Arab societies, this is the norm; men often greet one another with a kiss. Whereas in the West a simple handshake does the job, such intimate contact would seem a sin. Indeed, cultures are different. Thus, we must know these points of contrast, or else you may be in for a little surprise.